Saturday, March 5, 2011

from the mouths of babes

(from this point forward I will refer to my two daughters as little chicken and big chicken, 3 and 5 respectively)

This week I was picking up my big chicken from school and we got there early so I took the little chicken to the library. We bumped into one of her little friends there, let's call her little B. The two girls played until it was time to go pick up the big sisters from choir. My little chicken and I were walking down the stairs holding hands and little B and her ultra slim mother were behind her. I heard little B ask her mom, "Momma, why does little chicken's mommy look like that?" I can only describe the way I felt as heartbroken. Little B's mom simply ignored her and started up another conversation with me. But I was devastated, you know....crying on the inside. I have been trying to tell myself that there was still time before the chickens are impacted by this situation that has been spiraling out of control.

I do not want my girls to feel embarrassed by me.

I do want them my girls to feel they need to defend me.

I do not want my girls to think this will happen to them (which is what I grew up thinking as I watched my parents struggle with their weight).

I do not want my girls to suffer in any way because of my weight, I have suffered enough for all of us already

Just one more drop in the bucket to confirm that I am on the right track and have made the right choice.
More to come...


  1. Awww! That does totally suck. Christmas 2009 (a few weeks before my surgery), my niece asked if I was preganant and if that's why I was fat. That totally sucked too, but that is long gone now and it will be for you too!!

  2. That feeling is so......hurtful. My eye opening moment was when my little dude wanted me to go down the slide with him however, my butt was too darn big to move down the slide